In 2006 I was widowed with two beautiful children. The first was a daughter of only 3 years of age. The second was a son of only a month of age. Lupus was the enemy that took my beautiful wife of 15 years. The shock of loss can never be overcome 💯%. I still miss her and wish I could see her again but knew that was impossible. I only had the memories of her playing over and over again in my mind.
Religion teaches us how to love our neighbors but not how to deal with death. My very foundation was shaken in 2006 and the very notion of death made me noxious. My life changed dramatically and my outlook on life in general also. I recall thinking to myself why, why, me? The real question was why them? Why them? We all have difficulties in life to overcome.
I became not only a father but a mother in one swift sad moment. I had to take my grief and balled it into a manageable situation. I had to go on the defensive and removed my children from any stereotypes of becoming orphas. No drink or drugs could remove the grief from my heart 💔. There were only two roads to take. The first is to a life of self-pity and drunken disgust.
The second road leads me to stand back up and care for my children and protect them from this horrific event. I took all the pain and hide it in a box and locked it up. It wasn’t an easy road to take. I was sober the whole way and never thought I’d make it to where I’m today.
What doesn’t tear you down makes you stronger. I’m a little older and wiser now. My children are both straight “A” students. My daughter is now 19 and my son is 17. My daughter is away in a prestigious college and doing very well. My son aspires to be an engineer and is well on his way to achieving his goal. I am very proud of my children and their accomplishments.
Some think I’m a hero for what I did. While others just don’t understand what’s like to lose the love of their life. The truth is I’m grateful for the years we got to share. Some will never know what true love is like and the happiness that encapsulated it. I say to myself now and then, “I’ve made it this far keep going.” To you, I say ” take something away from my experience and apply it to your own life.” Live for today because tomorrow has plans for you.
One thought on “Death & Loss”
Great job DaveTheNerdGuy. Sounds like you did what you had to for your children as a single parent too.
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